justforspite: (Jenny B&W)
I hope you don’t expect me to become the hero of this story
I’m not the hero type, no matter what you say

I’m not going to pick up the pieces you leave behind
I’m not going to walk the world in your memory

Cause if you fall, I’m going down with you

There’s no arguing that so don’t even try

I won’t stand tall
I won’t visit your grave
I won’t try and heal ‘cause I know it’ll never happen

I’m going with you

So if you give a damn about me,
if you care anything about me at all,
you’re gonna fight this

You’ll fight it and you’ll win

I know you will
I know because you don’t want me to die as much as I want you to live.
justforspite: (Cate- Solitude)
He asks me to dance. He’s not drunk off his ass and he asks me to dance. I guess I’m still in shock when I let him take my hand and palm my hip. We’re the only ones on the floor and the music is too fast for us to move this slow but it’s nice. It’s real nice and I lean into him. My chin touches his shoulder and I feel the cotton of his shirt on my skin. He’s not tense at all and I don’t even care what that means about his ego. He smells nice. Like old fashioned aftershave. Like my dad. He smells like confidence and comfort and he knows how to lead. Most men can’t dance anymore, but he carries me as if my feet were on his toes and he glides me like I was five years old.

The 26 year old divorcee is in for trouble but I take my hat off and put it on him. I don’t care because he’s so much like what a man should be. He doesn’t even know my name but he makes me feel special just by catching my gaze and not looking guilty, or awkward. He never glances down to say hello and I grin. He sees my eyes and knows what they’re there for.

He pays for my drink and never tries to ply more. He knows I’m bringing him home and is sure I won’t change my mind. I take water because I want to remember everything about tonight. I want to memorize him, every small scar, every freckle. I want to keep the memory of him with me into tomorrow night when he’ll be gone and I’ll be back here, alone.

He holds me. Before he even tries to kiss me, he holds me, by the shoulders, studies my face, making memories of his own and I almost want this to mean more but I feel like I don’t even have a right to ask.

There’s too much experience in his hands and instead of being scared I lean into him and teach him a few more things about a woman’s body. He’s not mine to keep and I’ll let him go better than he came to me.

Comes to me.

And in the morning he’s let the sun spill over me and the fresh air cleanse me. His spot is cold but I can still smell him on my sheets.
justforspite: (Jenny Concentration)
For John

He rarely bothers with introspection,
When life gets him down, he gets up,
Eventually—soon—today—tomorrow,
And I’m inspired by the will of him,
And I’m frightened by the will of him,
My papa’s no rolling stone.. . . )

June 2009

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