justforspite: (Default)
[personal profile] justforspite

Prompted by ladydey

a/n: i like where this ends but i can see it becoming something larger. y/n in comments


Out of Ice Cold Ashes

He’d been raised with a vigorous disbelief in God. His father only believed in himself and his own powers and refused to let his son be raised under what he’d considered to be a mass delusion. There was enough public posturing to counter the atheism of his household; Lionel Luthor understood that people flocked more readily to those they could identify with and religion was the great mask every public figure had to wear. His catechism was taught, he’d been baptized and every Easter and Christmas he’d find his way to some church or another to be photographed.

Lex didn’t know if there was anyone out there, looking out for him, and if there were he considered just how useless they’d been at their particular assignment. If he’d been given a guardian angel, that creature was the most apathetic or sadistic of all the heavenly hosts, he was sure.

Now he was going to die and he was going to find out, for better or for worse if there was more to the world he’d grown to hate so much. If there was, he was sure there was a hell with his name engraved on it but somehow, he didn’t care. He wanted to be punished. At least it meant someone, somewhere, has been watching his life, all this time. Infamy was better than invisibility. His father had instilled that into his son more than anything.

He held Clark in his arms and welcomed everything unknown.

---

If there was a God, he hated him. There was no welcome to infinite darkness of religious apathy or the clawing viciousness of Hell. Instead there was just the blare of bright white light and bone-chilling cold. He had wanted to die but he was alive and the sun was reflecting off the snow and burning his corneas. He was being dragged; slowly dragged across sheets of ice and snow. Rolling his blue eyes away from the bleak horizon he looked to his feet and all he saw was the back of a red jacket.

No. This was supposed to be over, this was supposed to end. They were both supposed to be dead. “Why?” He breathed, his lips dry and cracked. He pulled on his legs and kicked as hard as he could, sending Clark tumbling forward. His eyes burned but he couldn’t bring himself to tears, not even angry ones. He stared up into the expansive, empty blue sky. “Why are you always trying to save me?” He choked out.

Other than the whistling wind his only reply was a small moan. He rolled to his side and struggled to his knees. The scenery was barren. There was nothing and no one for miles, just the rush of the empty arctic sea. He sighed, curls of white fog rising from his lips. “I wanted this to be over.” And he had no energy left for anger or pain. He just wanted to give up and go wherever people like him went when their world had ended. He finally turned to Clark, expecting those green eyes to be on him, looking sorry for how weak he was, looking at him like there was something inside him worth saving. Looking at him like forgiveness was possible enough that he would have dragged him so far, so long. But Clark was face down in the snow and he wasn’t moving.

He crawled to him, his blue fingers were numb and it hurt to move but he crawled to him and with difficulty he turned him onto his back.

Clark was as white as the snow. He looked made of it. His face was calm, peaceful and still. Small rises of mist were the only things telling him he was even still breathing. Lex’s hand passed over his face. “Why couldn’t we just die?” He sat back on his heels. “I don’t want to remember you.” He rolled his head back and closed his eyes to the sky. “I don’t want to remember me.”

When death refused to come in the minutes he sat there pleading with the God he wasn’t sure was there, Lex bent towards Clark again and saw that the red of his coat was darker in one place than it was anywhere else. For the first time since waking in this desolated wilderness, Lex Luthor felt real fear. Pushing back the jacket he saw the jagged holes in the thin blue undershirt. Peeling back the t-shirt he saw the wounds. Crushed under the weight of one of those sharp ice crystals or any other falling debris, Clark’s entire left side was torn open, what little blood that hadn’t escaped fast enough was frozen on his skin.

It was then that Lex Luthor lost his ambiguity about the existence of God. If he was all loving, all caring then there was no chance this situation was even feasible. There was no chance he’d be allowed to survive this, to live however many years were left in his empty life every day punished by the memory of ever-self-sacrificing Clark Fucking Kent.

“You’re not going to haunt me you shit!” He screamed, finding the energy to get to his aching feet. He spun around, not knowing where to go. There was no where to go. There was nothing to do. This was Hell. This was his hell. “NO!” He screamed, his face contorting. The future was as bleak as the horizon before him.

He collapsed, light fading, hoping darkness or demons would save him.

Date: 2009-01-01 08:52 pm (UTC)
ext_34824: (Default)
From: [identity profile] miss-tress.livejournal.com
Wonderful!

And I agree with you that I like the way it ends. But I also wouldn't say no if there was a possibility for more.

Date: 2009-01-01 09:30 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] justforspite.livejournal.com
Thanks for reading! Yeah, the y/n is all y or n, whichever lol!

Date: 2009-01-01 08:56 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] ladydey.livejournal.com
I feared when I read your post about losing your Clex mojo that my prompt was going to bedevil you with no resolution. I am so happy to see that not the case!!

I like this - I of course would love more, but I'm greedy like that where CLex is concerned. ;-)


See I can see how this would even fit in to the current season - Lex finds some way to save Clark, has his 'I love Clark to bits' epiphany, but is too sick/injured by exposure to stay with Clark, has to go in to hiding and try to get healthy again (so that's why he wasn't found in the Artic and could explain the scene of "Lex" hooked up to all those machines). Heck Clark may or may not know that Lex had anything to do with getting him out of the tundra.....

Anyway, I glad that you got over your Clex-block.

Date: 2009-01-01 09:31 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] justforspite.livejournal.com
Thanks for reading and thanks for the prompt! I have a few idea how all this can evolve into something interesting.

Date: 2009-01-01 08:59 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] eternal-moonie.livejournal.com
I love it! It was amazing!

Date: 2009-01-01 09:31 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] justforspite.livejournal.com
Thanks for reading!

Date: 2009-01-01 09:05 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] cifan70.livejournal.com
I loved this story. I do agree with you. Loved how it ended even though I would love to see some more. I am quite happy with it. Very well written too.

Date: 2009-01-01 09:31 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] justforspite.livejournal.com
Thanks for reading!

Date: 2009-01-01 09:34 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] myfablexy.livejournal.com
Very, very, very well written.
I think Lex had really thought of that, in the past season finale.
Hope you can do a sequel, but the story is strong so, too.

Date: 2009-01-01 10:46 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] justforspite.livejournal.com
Thanks so much for reading!

Date: 2009-01-01 10:06 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] carolandtom.livejournal.com
I freely admit that I strongly disliked the Traveler storyline and that I *hated* Artic and, specially, the final Clex scene. I don't usually read anthing related to that but this is *you* so of course I had to read this fic. It was as wonderfully written as was to be expected and of course I loved the TC. But I dislike the original premise so much I don't know what to say about continuing with the story. But again, this is *you* so I guess I have to trust you because you can do a *so* much better job than those darn writers.
So... this is it. lol

Date: 2009-01-01 10:46 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] justforspite.livejournal.com
Thanks for reading!

Date: 2009-01-01 10:53 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] jeannev.livejournal.com
Very beautifully written, and so very spot-on Lex. I'd certainly love to see you continue this idea.

Date: 2009-01-01 10:55 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] justforspite.livejournal.com
finally a vote in a decisive direction! Thanks for reading!

Date: 2009-01-01 11:49 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] shareece.livejournal.com
Oh man i loved that. that was well written and i loved your description of Lex's thoughts on religion and so believable on how Lionel used it to his advantage. I hope you decide to write a sequel to this. Very lovely.

Date: 2009-01-02 03:05 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile] justforspite.livejournal.com
Thanks so much for reading!

Date: 2009-01-02 12:09 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile] rosy5000.livejournal.com
That was just simply incredible! I felt bad for Lex in the end.

I'm undecided whether I'd like to see more of this. I love where this ended. But if you choose to continue, I wouldn't say no. lol

Date: 2009-01-02 03:05 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile] justforspite.livejournal.com
Thanks so much for reading!

Date: 2009-01-02 06:37 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile] roxymissrose.livejournal.com
Wow. This is so incredibly bleak, I want it to continue just to see what happens next. Lex's emotions are so vivid, I can believe he felt like that.

Date: 2009-01-02 02:21 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] justforspite.livejournal.com
Thanks so much for reading, Roxy!

Date: 2009-01-03 05:14 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] tragicllyhip.livejournal.com
that was beautifully effed up:) i love it. I think thats a fitting end, but yes if it continued, i'd read of course. Sorry it took so long to comment.

Date: 2009-01-03 06:45 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] justforspite.livejournal.com
Thanks for reading, Mel!

Date: 2009-01-03 10:32 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] jlvsclrk.livejournal.com
I didn't think I'd like this but I really, really did. Great characterization of Lex, so resigned to death that he welcomes it, railing at Clark for trying once again to be his saviour. That last line is chilling. I would definitely welcome more.

Date: 2009-01-03 10:36 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] justforspite.livejournal.com
Thanks so much for reading!

Date: 2009-01-07 10:01 pm (UTC)
ender24: (Default)
From: [personal profile] ender24
if you are not going to continue this, and I die, I will blame my death on you, and haunt you, like clark is going to haunt lex *g*

Date: 2009-01-07 10:07 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] justforspite.livejournal.com
^-^ Thanks for reading, Ender!

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